


Wait For It

by joshmeatflint



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, HAMILHOES GC IF YOURE HERE HELLOOOO, based on a short comic i saw, im breaking the 4th wall loads of times here, time to break some hearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-15 05:49:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10551130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshmeatflint/pseuds/joshmeatflint
Summary: in which philip hamilton can see the ghost of john laurens, the spirit destined to protect philip.also, in which john laurens fails his best friend, his best friends son, and himself.





	1. The Reynolds Affair

You'd never see a man more delighted as Alexander Hamilton when Philip Hamilton was born in your whole life.

Alexander had seemed at his best mood all the time. He'd have this constant, calm smile anywhere he went that it was almost unsettling to Aaron Burr.

At the same time, our beloved Mr. Burr had also been gifted with a newborn girl. She was named Theodosia, after her mother. She had her father's eyes, and was his pride and joy. She could read and write at 3, studied Latin, Greek and French, and had read _Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_ by age 10. She became fluent in French and Latin, much like Philip, but the two had never got the chance to become close due to their fathers' rivalry.

"Alexander!" Eliza calls out, "You forgot your papers!"

Alexander swiftly spins around to face his wife walking towards him holding a stack of papers. He smiles graciously, taking the papers, saying, "Thank you, my love. I shall see you soon."

As Alexander leaves the house, Eliza heads into the kitchen, making lunch for herself and also some for Philip. The young boy was now 6 years of age and had 'met' an imaginary friend who's name he refused to reveal to his parents.

But little did they know, this friend of his was certainly not made up. He is very much real, and even real-er years ago, before he passed on to the afterlife. His name, was John Laurens.

Philip, of course, is aware of that fact. The only thing he isn't aware of is that Mr. Laurens had once been very close to his father. They'd often spend time with each other in the back yard under the tree as Philip played and joked with John.

The day Philip turned 9, he had started to gain interest in literature and particularly poems. He had begun to work on one of his own, with the help of John.

"Do you think daddy will like it?" The young child asked him.

The ghostly figure who sat on the grass beside Philip smiled warmly. "I am sure he will."

Philip grins. "Thank you for the help, John."

Philip then rushes inside as John slowly begins to fade away, finding his mother at the piano bench, tapping out the notes to a melody.

"Mommy! Look!" He exclaims excitedly. He stands beside her and hands her the piece of paper in his hand, containing his selfmade poem.

"That's wonderful!" Eliza smiles, "I'll get your father. Wait here."

Eliza hurries upstairs. She checks their bedroom, empty. She checks the study, and there he is. He's leaned over the table, writing vigorously on a piece of parchment. God knows what hes writing, but it can most certainly wait. What a man would he be to favour his work over his family?

"Take a break," She says to her husband. "There's a little surprise before supper and it cannot wait."

"I'll be there in just a minute. Save my plate," Alexander responds, not once looking away from his work.

Eliza had just begun to leave, but as he says that, she stops and scolds him, "Alexander!"

Alexander jolts up from his seat and raises his hands in surrender. "Okay! Okay!"

"Your son is nine years old today," She reminds him, leading him downstairs to Philip, "He has something he'd like to say. He's been practicing all day. Philip, take it away!"

"Daddy daddy look!" Philip stands up from the piano bench and stands in front of his father. "My name is Philip. I am a poet. I wrote this poem just to show it. And I just turned nine. You can write rhymes but you can't write mine!"

"What?!" Alexander exclaims in amusement.

"I practice French and play piano with my mother!"

"Uhuh!"

"I have a sister but I want a little brother!"

"Okay," Alexander says, laughing lightly.

"My daddy's trying to start America's bank! Un deux trois quatre cinq!" He yells in triumph.

"Bravo!" Alexander claps his hands as Philip gives him a hug.

John is in the corner of the room, watching the happy family trading loving smiles and embraces. He watches them adoringly with tears brimming in his eyes for he longed to just _be with Alexander again_.

Philip catches sight of him. He flashes John a bright smile and John returns it. He had loved the boy as his own. He felt, if he couldn't do any good for Alexander, the least he could do was do good for his son.

-

Months after that, Eliza had taken Philip and his siblings upstate to spend time with their grandfather, Philip Schuyler. Alexander had rejected the offer of coming with them as he had to deliver his plan to Congress. It is quite ironic that that small decision might've just been his biggest mistake.

One summer while he was in the city, he was under stress because of working so hard to come up with a plan. He hasn't slept in so long, he was weak, but he was awake. You'd never seen a bastard, orphan more in need of a break. He was longing for Angelica, missing Eliza-

And that's just when a Ms. Maria Reynolds walked into his life.

She showed up at his house one day in distress and disarray, saying, "I'm sorry to bother you at home, but I have nowhere else to turn, and I came here all alone."

Up to this point, Alexander was extremely weirded out. Why him specifically? And what in the world did this woman want from him?

His answer came shortly after. "My husband's doing me wrong. He's been beating me, cheating on me, mistreating me. And then suddenly, he's up and gone. I don't know how to carry on."

Alexander is still bewildered by the stray woman in front of him. But then, of course, he just had to offer to walk her home and loaned her a couple of dollars just to help give her a boost. She lived a block away from him, and when they got to her place, she led him up to her bedroom and started going all over him. He felt somewhat uncomfortable, but at the same time, he enjoyed it.

_No, Alexander. Stop. Say no to this, you fucking idiot. What in hell are you doing?!_

Meanwhile, as Laurens was with Philip, now 15, he felt an odd, uneasy feeling in his guts. He was noticeably distracted of something.

"John? Are you alright?" Philip asks him worriedly.

"No," John shakes his head and then leans against the wall, "I'm not quite sure why."

"What's wrong?"

"I-I, I don't know. I have to go. Your father, he-"

John didn't get to fully tell Philip what was going on. He had already vanished, back to New York, where he was absolutely certain Alexander was either in trouble, or on the verge of getting into trouble.

Which, by the way, was the first option.

So John gets to the Hamilton household only to find it completely empty. He called out for Alexander, only for him to find that he was nowhere to be found. Usually when John called out to him, Alexander would hear. He would always hear, and he would always know it was John. Always. His heart aches a little when he hears his smooth, Southern accented voice flow through his mind and he has to remind himself that John wasn't here anymore. He was gone. Yet, Alexander still peers outside, in hopes that his long lost best friend would show up and never leave ever again.

But that wasn't the case.

John rushes out of the house, looking left and right down the streets.

_Maybe Alexander had taken a walk?_ He suggested to himself. But it was more of him trying to convince himself.

He walks down the streets, hoping to find him anywhere. But he wasn't there. Where could he be?

Just then, he passes by the Reynolds' house. He has a strange feeling, and he enters the house, through the front door, just like that. There are sounds from upstairs and John's heart drops so quickly he felt like he was going to die all over again. There's this sense of impending doom in him each step he takes up the stairs.

His suspicions were confirmed when he enters the bedroom. Maria was half dressed and on the bed as Alexander hovered above her shirtless.

"No," John says, "Alexander. No. Stop, you fucking son of a bitch!"

Something seemed to change in Alexander, as if he heard John. His head flies to where John was standing in the doorway, but he saw nothing. He couldn't see John. Alexander looks back down on Maria and starts to reconsider his decision. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...

Alexander faintly feels the soft, but ice cold hand on his shoulder, begging him to stop and go home. John lets the sorrow, anger and defeat take over him as he lets the tears flow freely.

So maybe John couldn't ever stop Alexander from cheating. Maybe it was as if God had needed it to happen for the future to play out perfectly. Either ways, John's not even a person. He's just a spirit, willing to protect Philip Hamilton because he was the only one with a soul pure, kind, and understanding enough to be able to see John.

He was there through it all. He was there when Eliza had received word about the scandal. He was there when Angelica had rushed back immediately from London as soon as she heard about it. He was there when Eliza read the pamphlet, and the sight of her sobbing while hugging Philip - who was also crying - was the most distressing thing in his whole life. The fact that he was mere inches away from consoling her, and he couldn't do anything about it, because even if he had, it wouldn't have done any good.

They return to New York. The tension between Eliza and Alexander is obvious as Eliza escorts the kids to their rooms. Philip begs for John to stay with him, but John apologizes, saying he has to go. He didn't say to listen in on Alexander and Eliza's conversation, he didn't want Philip to think of him that way.

"Why, Alexander?" Eliza asked brokenly.

"I am so, so sorry. She cornered me, Eliza. She left me with no choice." He apologizes, and the remorse in his voice breaks John's heart.

But Eliza walks away.


	2. The Duel of 1801

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are so many fuckin typos in this chapter bc im doing it on my phone oh god

5 years after the Reynolds Affair, there's still slight tension between Alexander and Eliza, but nothing quite significant. She refuses any form of exaggerated affection from him, but she allows a few kisses here and there. None of their kids notice this. Philip would have, but he spends most of his time in college now.

At home, 18 year old Angelica Hamilton takes her mother's place at the piano stool, playing a song her father had taught her a few years ago. She plays it smoothly and beautifully with absolutely no flaws. It certainly was a glorious melody.

"Angelica, dear?" Eliza calls for her daughter.

"Yes mother?" She calls back, standing up.

Eliza walks in the room and smiles at her. "I need you to take these to your father upstairs. He's been working too hard."

Angelica giggles softly, "I will." And takes the cup of tea upstairs.

She finds Alexander in his office, once again hunchinh over his desk writing on a piece of parchment paper. He's significantly older as his once chestnut hair now has quite visible gray streaks in it, but nevertheless, he looked just as he did all those years ago.

"Father?" She says.

He sets down the quill and looks up at his daughter, "Angelica! I didn't hear you enter."

She smiles and places the tea on his table. "Mother wanted me to deliver this to you."

He gratefully takes a sip. "Ah, yes. Thank you."

She gives him a playful bow, "I must be off now."

"Where to?"

"See Philip. He had something to tell me before he left this morning." She says.

"Very well then, off you go." He responds.

Angelica exits his office. She says a quick goodbye to Eliza before leaving the house and taking the quick 10 minute walk over to King's college.

She spots her brother on the steps. She gives him a hug when they meet, and he tells her that they'd better speak somewhere private.

So they end up in a quieter part of the streets. He's visibly nervous and uneasy. His eyes darted around everywhere as if watching out for someone.

He thinks back to John, how he was practically begging Philip not to go to the duel, but Philip didn't listen.

"Are you alright?" Angelica asks worriedly.

"I-I'm quite fine," Philip responds, "Angelica, I have invited a George Eacker to a duel."

This confuses Angelica. "A-A duel? Why? You...you could die!"

He shushes her, "I know. It's tomorrow at Weehawken in Jersey. I want to come home and tell father."

"Do you think he'd prevent you from going?"

"He might. We shall wait and see."

~

Philip softly knocks on Alexander's office door. He enters once Alecander acknowledges it.

"Philip!" He exclaims, surprised. "You've returned. Is it not too soon?"

"I had to deliver some important news," Philip says. "I have challenged George Eacker to a duel."

"Philip, my son...what is the reason for all this?"

"He disparaged your name in front of a crowd father, I will not stand for that." Philip says.

There's a light argument between the two of them, but Alexander eventually gives in when he realizes Philip was old enough to take responsibility of his own actions now.

Alexander hands him his guns, two .58 caliber, blued steel Versailles. "When the time comes, fire your weapon in the air. Eacker will follow suit if he's truly a man of honour. Take my guns. Be smart. Make me proud son."

"I wont let you down." Philip salutes him with a smile.

But the day of the duel, Philip finds himself close to an anxiety attack as he reached the duelling grounds. He's breathing heavily and sweating profusely.

He gives himself a brief pep talk before finally stepping onto the dueling grounds. Their second's counted from 1 to 10, but as they reached 10, nothing happened.

The two young men stood there, not knowing what to do. When half a minute passed, Philip aims his gun towards the sky, but Eacker mistakens it for an act of Philip trying to aim for him, so he ends up mortally wounding Philip just above his hip as the bullet also lodged in his right arm. He collapses on the spot, and so does Eacker out of shock. Philip's doctor takes him back to New York and to a hospital.

Alexander was immediately notified of this. He was so worried that he didn't even think twice before throwing his quill back in it's inkwell as he quickly changes and rushes to the hospital.

Before Alexander arrived, John was sitting beside Philip. He was gripping his hand tightly with tears in his eyes because _God, he failed him_.

"Where is my son?!" Alexander asks in distress.

"Mr. Hamilton," A doctor acknowledges him, "Come in, they brought him in a half an hour ago. He lost a lot of blood on his way h-"

"Is he alive?!" Alexander cuts in.

"Yes. But you have to understand...the bullet hit just above his hip and lodged in his right arm."

"Can I see him, please!"

"I'm doing everything I can," The doctor assures him, "But the wound was already infected when he arrived."

So Alexander is led to Philip. He was lying on a makeshift bed. His face was pale and his forehead was littered with beads of sweat. John disappears as Alexander enters. Philip choked and spluttered and Alexander's heart physically broke to see his son in this condition.

Philip finally musters the strength to face his father, "Pa...I did exactly as you said...even before we got to 10, I was aiming for the sky."

"I know, I know..." Alexander sobbed, "Save your strength and stay alive."

An equally distressed Eliza rushes into the room. "No!"

Alexander turns to face Eliza. "Eliza..."

"Is he breathing?! Is he going to survive this?!" She yells in disarray. "Who did this, Alexander?! Did you know?!"

Before Alexander could answer, Philip is speaking, "Mother, I'm so sorry for forgetting what you taught me..."

"My son..." She whispers softly, holding him in her arms.

"We played piano," Philip states, trying to bring back memories, "You would put your hands on mine."

Eliza smiles brokenly. "You changed the melody every time."

Philip musters a smile. "I would always change the line."

"I know, I know," Eliza says. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf."

Philip repeats the line, but as Eliza says it once again, he makes it to six before he's gone. Eliza breaks down, screaming and crying. Alexander tries to console her, to no avail, as she violently shakes his hand off when he tries to place it on her shoulder as a gesture of comfort.

Philip then gradually starts regaining consciousness, but not in the mortal world. He now faces his own dead body with his parents weeping over it with John beside him. John looked more humanoid now. More...real. He wasn't as ghostly as he was when Philip was alive.

John is crying. He's trying not to, but he is. He cries harder when Philip desperately thrashes around, trying to console his mother and father. How he desperately wants to tell them that he's alright and that they don't need to worry about him. John holds him back, because there would be no point in that anymore.

After a while, Philip gives up. He's tired as he sinks down to the floor with his head on his knees, still sobbing.

"Philip," John says, voice cracking, "It's okay. I'm here."

John manages to hug him. Philip leans into his touch since John is the only source of physical affection he has now.

Philips body is taken away. His funeral is scheduled already, but what happens to Angelica after they told her what happened broke him the most.

Most of his younger siblings didn't understand the concept of death yet, so Eliza told them that Philip had gone of a vacation and may never be coming back. She talks to Angelica, and she has this horrendous breakdown that affected her brain. She falls to the floor as the information was too much to process and her brain was altered permanently. She would live with the thought that she was still a child forever.

Philips death had impacted a lot of people, even Aaron Burr, who came to the funeral to pay his respects. This was the first time Hamilton and Burr were civil with each other, but it wasn't for a good reason.

At the funeral, Alexander was so upset he couldn't even stand up, but he bought everything for Angelica to make sure she was comfortable and had the best medical attention he could get. This portrays how much Hamilton and loved his family. Even though he did commit many fatal errors towards them in his life, he loved them all unconditionally.


	3. The Stages of Grief & The Election of 1800

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Five Stages of Grief:  
> 1) Denial  
> 2) Anger  
> 3) Bargaining  
> 4) Depression  
> 5) Acceptance

Shortly after the incident, the Hamilton's packed their things and they moved uptown. Alexander turned into the opposite of how he started off in this book; all cheerful and happy. He clearly had gained a few pounds over the course of a few months despite walking on the streets often, most likely because of the fatigue caused by his son's death.

As he walks around in the quiet streets uptown, he is often seen mumbling to himself. He seemed to be saying things to Philip as if the boy was there right beside him. He was, in spirit at least.

Philip now shares the same agonizing feeling as John. He has to sit there, watching as his family slowly falls apart and he cant to a single thing about it. He cries more oftenly now, seeing how broken his mother is, especially his sister, Angelica. Knowing she'd never be the same again, he cant help but blame himself for it. Had he never challenged Eacker to a duel, listened to John and stayed alive, none of this would've ever happened.

Alexander sits at his desk. He sits, and that's all he does. He does not write, he does not eat, he does not speak to anybody.

Except Eliza.

Even after all the shit he's put her through, he never meant any of it. He wants her to trust him again. He wants to rebuild their relationship into the strong one they had all those years ago. He yearns for the feeling of love and content from her, and he was stupid enough to take that for granted.

Philip stands beside his father. He watches him as he craves the physical affection he's recieved during his living years. John is behind him, wallowing in pity for the boy. He places a hand on his shoulder, silently telling him that there was no point anymore. Philip agrees with this as they walk away.

~

Thomas Jefferson jumps around in glee as James Madison sits in a chair and watches his best friend with an unamused face.

In response to the scandalous affair Alexander had with Maria Reynolds, his chance of being elected as president has been completely destroyed, and that just leaves less competition for Thomas.

"Thomas-"

"He's doesn't have a chance!" Thomas cheers, "So now I'm facing Aaron Burr, with his own faction."

James stands up, nodding, "He's very attractive in the North. New Yorkers like his chances."

Thomas looks out the window to see Aaron starting his own campaign in the streets. He grimaces, "He's not very forthcoming on any particular stances. But, at least, John Adams hasn't the slightest chance of winning this election."

James agrees. "He doesn't stand a chance."

"And Burr?"

James hesitates. "Well. Ask him a question; it glances off. He obfuscates, he dances."

Thomas scoffs, "And they say I'm a francophile! At least they know I know where France is!"

James attempts to calm Thomas down. "Thomas, that's the problem. They see Burr as a less extreme you."

Thomas cocks his head to the side in confusion. "Huh?"

James sighs. "You need to change course. A key endorsement might redeem you."

Thomas squints. "Who did you have in mind?"

"Don't laugh."

Thomas gives him a look. "Who is it."

James starts hinting it. "You used to work on the same staff."

"Whaaaaa-"

"It might be nice to get Hamilton on your side?"

~

Outside, Burr is seen with a crowd of people surrounding him. He is handing out flyers to vote for him as president.

Alexander comes along. "Well, if it isn't Aaron Burr, sir."

"Alexander!" Aaron greets, surprised.

"You've created quite a stir, sir." Alexander comments.

"I'm going door to door!" Aaron says proudly.

"You're openly campaigning?"

"Sure!"

"That's new," Alexander muses."

"Honestly it's quite draining," Aaron admits.

"Burr?"

"Sir?"

"Is there anything you wouldn't do?" Alexander asks.

"No," Aaron replies almost immediately, "I'm chasing what I want. And you know what?"

"What." Alexander says through gritted teeth.

"I learned that from you."

~

After the election, as the votes are being counted, the popular vote was a tie. They decided it was up to the delegates now, but that's when Thomas realized it would all depend on Alexander.

Luckily enough for him, Alexander has endorsed him. Despite being his foul enemy, Alexander would have done anything to prevent Aaron Burr from being elected as president of their brand new nation.

Aaron approaches Thomas. He congratulates him on winning the election, but its an obviously forced one. They go their separate ways, Thomas satisfied of the outcome of the election whereas Aaron was cursing Alexander in his head. How dare he endorse his enemy, a man he's despised since the beginning, just to keep him from winning?

Aaron, at home, writes a single paragraphed letter to Alexander. In a nutshell, he is asking, _are you talking shit about me?_ A few weeks later, he recieves a letter from Alexander. The letter is six pages long, and when summarized, basically says, _yes. in fact, I am talking so much shit about you I have no idea which one you are talking about. Be more specific?_

And thus, began The Duel of 1804.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes that kinda sucked


	4. The Duel of 1804

As a result of the series of letters exchanged between Alexander and Aaron, Aaron had challenged Alexander to a duel.

Alexander knew he could not ever inform his wife on this matter, so when he got up in the wee hours of July 11th in the year 1804, he wrote his last ever letter. It was addressed to Eliza.

The two men rode across the Hudson river at dawn. Alexander's crew consisted of his second, Nathaniel Pendleton and a doctor that he knew. The same doctor who had treated Philip in his own duel.

Speaking of Philip...

He and John had been on the boat with Alexander as he headed for the dueling grounds in Weehawen, New Jersey. Philip watched his father with pleading eyes that Alexander would never be able to see, silently begging for him to turn around and avoid the duel, but he did not do such thing. John wraps an arm around Philip's shoulders, giving it a little squeeze as a gesture to tell him it was not going to do any good.

They watched as Alexander took his paces and fired his gun, purposely missing Aaron. Time seemed to slow down though when the bullet almost hits Alexander. He turns his head towards where John and Philip were standing. They give him a wave, and Alexander gasps. He collapses when the bullet hits him right between his ribs. Aaron is struck by a feeling of grief after realizing what he had done. He rushes towards Alexander to come to his aid, but he is quickly ushered away by his second, William P. Van Ness.

When Alexander gets back and delivered to a medical clinic, Eliza is immediately notified. She rushes over to where her husband is with her sister, Angelica Schulyer. Even in his dying moments, Alexander never ceased to tell his wife how much he loved him. He tells her about how sorry he was about anything he had done to hurt her in his life. All she could do was sit by his side and listen as the love of her life slipped further and further away every second.

When the time came, the exact time the both of them had dreaded, Alexander spoke his last words, "My love, take your time. I shall see you on the other side."

Death wasn't like in the movies. It was much harsher. At first, you don't realize it. You don't realize their time has come until you're a second too late. Human reflexes aren't skilled enough to react quickly to the feeling of a hand going limp in theirs. Alexander took his last breath, and Eliza didn't realize until it was too late. She screams. It's an agonizing, painful one to hear. The same one that was there when Philip died. She clutched his hand tighter in hers, willing him to just comeback to life just once more so she could say goodbye.

But he was gone.

Angelica placed a hand on her back, consoling her soothingly. She begins to cry harder as she thought back to when Alexander did the same thing when Philip passed, but she had swatted it away. She would do anything to repeat that moment. She wanted to make things right.

~

Alexander has always spoken about assuring his legacy in this country. He wanted to be remembered not as a man who did great things, but for a man who made mistakes and learned to fix them. Eliza spent the next more than half a century of her life preserving legacies and telling their story. She raised funds in D.C. for the monument being built for George Washington, she told to stories of the men who fought in the Revolutionary War so they would get the recognition she knew they deserved, she spoke out against slavery and lived to experience part of The Abolitionist Movement of 1830. She had done all these great deeds, but never felt as if it were enough.

Angelica had passed somewhere during this period of time. She was buried near Alexander in Trinity Church where she knows she'll be spending most of her time. She relied on Angelica. She had always been there by Eliza's side, giving her support and the love she needed. Eliza would give anything to see Alexander and her sister just once again, so she did the one thing she knew would ensure her satisfaction.

An orphanage.

She had established the first private orphanage in New York City. She helped raise hundreds of children because she knew all the pain and horror Alexander went through as a child. She did not want that for any other child. She couldn't save Alexander himself, but she could save those like him while it's not too late. She got to see them grow up into strong Americans, stronger than she'll ever be, and in their eyes, she saw Alexander. Maybe these kids had reminded her of the child she used to be. So joyful, she lived without a care in the world.

But when her time is up, would she have done enough? Will they pass on Alexander's story from generation to generation? _Will they tell her story?_

She doesn't care. She cant wait to see Alexander again. She rests in a tavern one night. She speaks to an unknown caller, she says, "It is so long. I am so tired. I want to see Hamilton again."

Not long after, she got to see him, along with her son, her siblings, her parents, and everybody she loves. She couldn't be happier.

Elizabeth Schulyer Hamilton lived to be 97, outliving both her sisters, and her husband by over half a century. May we all continue to preserve and protect her legacy, and continue to tell her story.


End file.
